You hold  inside, a narrow view of me. You see me as some doll you play with, whenever you see fit, you see in me a non living creature, you despise me. And yet, you adore me.

I have passions, I have hopes and dreams. You come pounding and crushing, devastating them all…How can you be so cruel? So vile and wicked, to do such things.

Why do you stare at me and call me names, blinded by some sort of light, prophetic and divine, it seems, for your face is marble-white and in shock, and your once calm and collected hands are now shivering like October leafs on a lonely tree`s branches.

You caress my skin and pull my hair…Kiss my lips and cover my eyes..take me away and kill my last breath…

I am a mannequin, I pose for your pleasure.

I am a mannequin, I have no life, no desires, nor do I have dreams.

I am a mannequin, forever young and frail.

I am a mannequin, and I shall see you die.

I am a mannequin, I shall shed no tears for you, tiran.

I am a mannequin, only as long as I shall choose to be.

I am forevermore,  not a mannequin, in full galore.

Remember me by…

Oh how I miss my natal grounds, even if now they disgrace me by their poor and dusty presence, It is that very disgraceful place that made me the man I am today! With all the wounds and all the hunger…All the pointing fingers in my direction and all the laughs. They all made me stronger, and oh so fierce, ready to fight whatever the cost, to see my will fulfilled.

Forever and a day.

You ask me to sacrifice on your behalf, make me praise and make me worship something that is not according to what am and what I believe. You try endulging me in what I shall never cope with.

For what, beloved and yet hated mortal?

Sweet whispers and tender kisses are no equivalent of what is me. I represent fragments of what you ask me to believe in, so how does this retched system work, mind you? I shall not fall in blood and red heritage for the sake of your flesh, i assure you of that.

You are confident, fool, in your attempt to kneel me and make me a depraved and forsaken entity, but you are just that, carnal being. A fool.

I, king amongst kings, and God amongst gods, I refuse to shed my identity and my ideals for a chunk of flesh modeled ages ago to tempt and betray, you, masked Judas, will not sell me for the silvery dust of time, for a mirage.

Clench your little  fist, bite your red lip, I care not anymore, whatever the gesture, whatever the pain.

I shall not hence your personality, only by standing aside of you, in the quality of flesh and bones, passing through an insufficient lifespan, no, I shall not…I will not!

Stay here, in pagan world, and lay your head on pagan pillow. Sleep, and let me be forgotten in your heart and eyes. I shall live forevermore, whilst you shall witter with the passing of years, that seem seconds in my perception.

I lay still in sacred grounds, resting my cheek on sacred grass…And dreaming of a chunk of meat…that was my beloved one.

Forever and a day.

Beloved Slut…

…curved shoulders, pouty lips and seductive perfume.  Signs of your trying to conquer me, and everything that I am. But with what reasoning, Slut?

Are you aware of whom I am, at least? Do you know that I spend half my money here with you, and then I take nothing home for my children, nothing other than some bread and milk. Yes, Slut, bread and milk. And you lay here, in silk neglige, and pierce me with your witty eyes, expecting even more from this poor human that is me.

Do you see me as something worth winning over? Even though I am addicted as it is to your creamy skin and round hips, and those full but yet delicate breasts between which you insist of bringing me, through your demonic hugs..

You scare me sometimes, Slut. You and your perfect make up, almost like a geisha`s…Disgusting! Disgusting how you fold around me and my heart even, and drive me insane, confusing my instincts and my soul, ripping me from reality and violently hitting me to the ground after only an hour and  a half.

Expensive, Slut! That`s what you are! Is half of my weekly work worth not even two hours of your delicate and yet poisoning company? I should expect not, judging by the expression of nausea on your prettily painted features. I am repulsing, am I not, Slut?

As repulsing as any woman yearnig for another`s touch is, isn`t that right, Slut, dearest?

Hiding from the hidden….

Concealing myself in what is you

Neglecting each and every view,

I choose to lose, I choose to use

Whatever nonsense or excuse…

Whatever happened to what I once was? Whatever happened to the old me?

I find myself in these new surroundings, new people, new scents, new everything…and new me. New me, beating out the old, giving me new values and new hopes. Sketching out a future, filled with color and savor…

Whatever became of the old? Dust and tears? or perhaps it is all locked up somewhere, in a chilly February afternoon,  on the streets that I once roamed.

If I had known that a ballet of ivory dust would come and rip me of my state of disgrace and severe hatred, I would have hidden myself, thinking that what I not know of might just mean my downfall. So faith delivered me an angel, in a form that I didn`t take much note of…I yearned for it, but not much more than the daily yearning for a coffee or such…

But then, as I had the desire to be apart of  the angel, that very second, something, something violent and aching yelled inside of me, and demanded that I stay. But alas, I was scared and shivering, and my instincts were excited and overwhelmed with the adrenaline – like feeling that I had that very moment. It came forth to me, and grasped my hands tightly, almost crushing my delicate bones, and a cristal clear voice was reciting in my head, with an echo that would make the Gods themselves anxious: “Have trust…He shall save, not mutilate. He shall cherish, not alter, nor shall he bring wounds or tears.  Have trust…”

…And so I did, and grasped back the hands that I felt were no longer crushing mine, but warming them, containing them, protecting them. I closed my eyes, cast a wish, kissed a lip and cried. They were tears of joy and tears of glee..

Tears that I have surpassed the previous me. The alone and ignorant, filled with hatred me, that consumed all that I truly was.

I thank you, angel. I thank you and adore you. Here and now, and forever more.

Yours,

Beast.

Well….

…seeing as I broke my hand again today, I followed a good friend`s example and started a blog. Heck, why not..

I`ve posted on many blogs, including a wordpress blog, but I never got around to making my very own blog, making it a compedium of all that I have posted up until now, scattered around the internetz.

Well…some FAQ about myself then, eh?

I`m an arts student in tenth grade, next year I will go on to Animation as a specialization for the next two years of highschool,  and I plan on studying Animation in college as well.

My name is Alexandra, Alex for short. Friends call me Miku as well. Feel free to call me Master.

I started my very own cult, the Mikurian Cult…based on chocolate, cofee, cigs, and all that is good and yummy in the world~

What else….I LUV CATZ AND LOLCATZ AND LULSPIKZ XD [/retarded moment]

I like earthy colors like greens, olives, browns, yellows….And reds and purples as well <3

I am a majour lazy~ass, my purpose [well..at least one of them...:p] in life is to slack as much as humanly possible, whilst mediteranean beauties rub my back and bring me martini after martini after blissfull martini.

Alas, I dream of a world where my genius and undying zest will never be forgotten, serving as a role model for next generations to cu…ahem, come.

More from me next time we shall meet,

Yours, Master.